Apr 20, 2007

Regular Women


A good friend overheard my six year old daughter refer to herself as chubby in a conversation with my friend's eight year old daughter. And then the friend said that she thought she was chubby too, and that she’d be the fat girl if she was on a tv show.

These are not chubby girls.

We had just taken them to a dance performance by a group of women called Lava. The women were normal-looking in every way. Sturdy, large, more than one size twelve--one that may have been more than that. There were two regular types, one thinnish, one smallish, and the smaller one had a bit of excema that you could see on her belly when she hung upside down on a trapeze--and it made her smallness seem flawed in a really wonderful way. Not in an oh-good-she’s-not-perfect way, but sort of in an oh-good-she’s-not-perfect kind of way.

The performance was intimate--about a hundred of us in a circle, if that many. The performers smiled at us, and whispered secret numbers in our girls’ ears, and made prolonged eye contact with us longer than felt normal--longer certainly than my husband and I have done in years. If ever.

They poured their bodies through hoops without touching the edges, did amazing things on the trapeze, supported each other in all sorts of ways, not the least of which was a sort of upside-down-pyramid thing where one woman stood on the ground holding everyone else up.

The music was cool, the women were cool.

They wore regular clothes, jeans even. We could connect with them. They were slightly stronger, better trained versions of ourselves. They were who our daughters could be if they believed in themselves, if they took care of themselves.

We were all exhilirated by their strength and presence. We gushed about the whole thing as we walked out. So much of it felt special.

But then we stopped in a Claire’s Accessories in a nearby mall to buy hair things. It seemed like a nice way to round out the day out with these girls. And that’s when our daughters compared notes on being chubby.

Had we undone everything?

Could three minutes of browsing in the Mary Kate and Ashley’s leopard-print hair-bow section really erase ninety minutes of powerful real-life women?

I’ve got my work cut out for me. And I've got to pay better attention.

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

Still no update about the American Girl Place situation I see.

I'm beginning to think that your story was a bit less than truthful.

thordora said...

And my husband wonders why I worry about my daughters already...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm wondering if this whole blog isn't a work of fiction or a place to embellish her life.

Anonymous said...

So what did American Girl say? Did you ever contact them?

Anonymous said...

Revisit the American Girl issue, already.

Start a new post and address people's very legitimate doubts and questions.

By the way, I'm buying everyone I know an American Girl doll for Christmas.

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Florabora said...

What a wierdo that anonymous is. Thanks for posting the info on the dance troup. It sounds like you had a good time. I'm not sure how to respond to your daughter's chubby "issue" but I can say just keep doing positive things like this with her and she will be fine.

Anonymous said...

Florabora thinks "anonymous" is a loser? Take a look at the American Girl thread & see how the doting mom fails to respond to several hundred relevant posts that challenge her bullshit story.

G'day.

Anonymous said...

OOTHM, don't throw these A.G. psychos a bone. You're all a bunch of vicious weirdos. Every new post, you're hounding her about it.

Anonymous said...

Vicious is a bit harsh. What's so vicious about wanting an update anyway? Weird, maybe. But A.G. psycho I am not, nor will I ever be. I can honestly say I am not the least bit interested in A.G. I just wish to see this person get what she deserves for the bullshit that she started.

If she truly wants the questions and hounding to stop, then maybe she should address some of the valid issues that were brought to her regarding the situation.

Honestly, why would she need to pull a quote from a Frommer's guide to New York, considering that she's a native? Why should Frommer's be considered an official word on American Girl? Duh. It was all to draw in attention and get a reaction and it worked.

I hope A.G. sues this woman for her batshittery.

Anonymous said...

LOL @ "batshittery"

I'm so glad I'm not the only person "hounding" Horrible Mom for an update. It's a valid request.

Anonymous said...

People wanted an update because your story was clearly an embellishment of an occurrence at which you were NOT present. You wrote the piece with a particular brand of soft hysteria and energetic hyperbole. Of course people would react - the situation you described was worthy of reaction.

Many people contacted the American Girl company - the reaction from them painted a much clearer picture - the customer service was not the problem, the "hyping it up" was. You told a second-hand account of something that can never be verified, then left people to wonder what the hell happened.

Grow up - even now you're ignoring the situation and taking a CYA attitude.

Anonymous said...

To the person who posts the one that begins "People wanted an update" ...

Do you really believe that you're going to get the straight story by calling the American Girl company? You'll get their side of it, but they've got much more of a reason to lie and minimize what happened than OOTHM does. Again, I need to see proof that it didn't happen. M.N.

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